See, what happens is, Lionel is all, "Clark is like the son I never had--and best of all it's okay to tap *that* ass, woo-hoo!!"

And Lex is all, "You fucker! I'm going to KICK *yours*--and godamnit, I've had dibs on his ass since he was fifteen! Pervert!" which Lionel snorts at because he knows all about the CoCK.

"Oh yeah well you snooze you loose. No one told you to marry Princess Psycho,"Lionel says, and there may be some hair-flipping there, because EVOL, "And guess what--if you tried to kick his ass you'd break your foot because his ass is made of STEEL!"

"Gasp! That toned...no, wait you mean--invulnerable? As in alien visitors from another planet?" lex looks kind of shocked and shifty at the same time. EVOL.

"IDIOT! HELLO? Kryptonian boy, words all over his barn, barfs around green shiny stones--yes, super-enhanced alien, geez. How dumb can you--erk!"

"Dad, do you know what defenestration means? Of course you do--ciao! Enrique, make that one for dinner...what do you mean he doesn't work here anymore...?"

eta: I blame it on this quote:It's so strange now, because everybody seems to know about Clark's secret. It's not a secret anymore. Chloe knows, Lana knows, and Lionel knows. Does Lex know? He's awfully stupid if he doesn't." John Glover.

Title: What Happens in Smallville…
Fandom: SV
Pairing: none really but Clex implied.
Rating: PG-13, for wondering about size and oral sex implied.
Summary: silliness, pure silliness.

Other staff stories can be read at SSA or here.

(  What Happens in Smallville… )

Title: Berries And Cream
Fandom: SV
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Rating: NC-17
Summary: pointless and hopefully entertaining PWP. Actually, this was going to be for the ole skool clex challenge but it kind of didn’t quite work for that…


( this way to the story )

There is no excuse for this other than I'm a perv and other people enable that perviness. *eyeballs you know who, because you know who gave me an outline and lots of ideas and...well, as you can see, I'm just an innocent bystander*

Let me just dish this up for you, and just for fun, it's Clark/Other, first time, humor, (i hope!) and rated...mmm...4. Yes, I think 4 covers it. Please to be enjoying a tasty slice of cheese!

( It's All About The Daisy Dukes )

It was hard, but I made myself re-write the darn thing. Be nice... I had a hard night! Here to the best o my recollection is "Two Sisters Of Mercy" dedicated to justabi

And for those of you who are interested, here are the other staff stories.Lex's Staff

( Read more... )

More staff, anyone? Yes, there is more!
This bit is before Clark Steps Up, and after Itch.

Like to see it? Here it is!


Clarks Week



( Read more... )

For you,'cause you asked me!

( Hans Dieter )

and off I go!

Haaarkk! Schniiiiffff.*koff* I'm better now.*Hoooccch-blergh*Really.
hey, thanksfor the bunnies tabaqui, they were so tasty, plus they came with their own little soup appetizers!! How nice.
In other news, duck! It's SV fic!


( The Naked Truth )

Ach! What an enormous surprise! Lawks, I can not contain my self! The Joy!Moooree Staff!


( read )

oooH! Is it the epic story of a young man who sacrifices all, including the lives of his family, to bump uglies with a married woman?Is it the story of a man who has so little going on for himself that he kills folks for the local Big Boss, meanwhile having a real intense relationship with his (*wink-wink,nudge-nudge- say no more...)'cousin'-
NaaaaaaH! It's more of this stuff!
( The Distaff Staff )

So, having cleaned out out my pen of typing monkies, and not finding any Shakespeare, I present TA-DAH! This.

( The Butler Did It )

it kills me how lousy I am at typing....

AAck! Just looked at something I posted at SSA and saw a characters name changed halfway through the story!Fuck! Didn't I read that bitch a couple of times AND remind myself not to do that? Grrrr.

Oh, well. I'll survive...

( Itch )

I like writing humor. It's fun and easy, and sometimes I even make my self laugh.But I also like writing fucked up stuff too.I enjoy a good angsty-angst fest.I love stories that make me snivel, I love stories that fuck me up for a day or two.*eyes balls 'Ars Moriendi. Take a dash of despair, a sprinkle of sex, a pinch of pain, and I'm your girl! On the other hand, if you can make me laugh, I'm your slave!
'Buy Tulips' by JoJo made me laugh.And put me in a 'funny stuff' mood.


( Bar-B-Que )

Ther's a fic blizzard on the horizon...

A little bit of a different direction for me in SV.I had a goood time writing these!

( Drive )

went out after work tonight with a few of my "Team-members" as Cult Retail Store calls us.Surprisingly fun!


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