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Lord help me and mine....

My child is moving...again. From the apartment that she just moved into. Yes, I know. She's moving into a different place, because of extreme phobias. No one understands, except folks who also have phobias that can turn one's life inside out. We talked about it and I supported her move, but asked for her promise to seek counseling of some kind because this is just too much. So this move, she's totally on her own. She's a grown, mature woman, and this is her life, she has to live it the way she wants. But that doesn't mean we have to live it with her. The move is totally, completely on her. How she accomplishes it is in her court. Mom and Dad are tapped out, financially and mentally.

Staycation is almost over--I have one more day. Except for the mind-boggling news my kid dropped in my lap, it's been so good that I'm kind of considering taking early retirement and just becoming a hermit. Nothing would make me happier than to shut my door on the world outside and just...breathe. I have two more months to think about it. Hmmmm...*ponders* I wonder if I can cut my hours at Red Bulls-eye Satan without getting fired and then live off the riches of my retirement. And my husband, poor man. Hell, he's younger than me, he can deal.

This post brought to you by 'has it been that long since I posted?'

Comments

( 15 comments — Leave a comment )
carolandtom
Jun. 12th, 2016 08:16 am (UTC)
Breathe and try to enjoy, Roxy. Our children have to live their own lives and we have to try and do our best with ours. Relax and basque in the love of your family and friends.

(This comment brought to you by a friend that, somehow, is still around here) :D
roxymissrose
Jun. 12th, 2016 03:23 pm (UTC)
omgosh!!! What an incredible pleasure to see you here! How are things? My morning just got better by seeing you here! :D

This girl!! She moved out into an apartment--an adorable place--in May, saw a roach, and now she's moving again. There was one year in which she moved three times because of that...she can't help it, I get that, but she needs to find some way to deal with it because it's no way to live, poor kid. Oh well. As long as Mom and Dad are here she'll be okay. I just hate seeing her suffer. Plus, I'm too damn old for this packing/unpacking biz anymore!! :D :D :D

*HUGS* Yay for lurking! ;)
carolandtom
Jun. 14th, 2016 08:24 am (UTC)
The pleasure is mutual! I try to peruse LJ when I have a little time and I'm always happy to find a post of yours! It feels like being at home here.
I'm doing ok, working mostly, I understand your need for retirement. I too look forward to the moment when I can manage my time at will.
We can't help being anxious about our children and always wanting to do everything we can for them. Sometimes it can be trying, yes, because we are not that young anymore and because we want them to be able to fend for themselves. But if they are happy we are happy too and we'll do all in our power to achieve that, even if sometimes the task is a little discouraging.
I love you. Always. I hope you know that. *Hugs tight*
rednihilist
Jun. 12th, 2016 04:22 pm (UTC)
Hello, lovely! Oh, the moving. (We've had some godawful drama featuring moving in my family lately, and I sincerely hope your daughter's is smooth as a dream.) Sorry your daughter's having a tough go, but backing away a little is longterm the best option imo.

The Hermit Option sounds glorious, and I'm with you about Red Bulls-eye Satan (which I can hopefully borrow from now on because it's so fucking accurate), but damn that money, right?

In short, I miss you. Today is terrible (Orlando, oh my fucking God), but you've made me smile (inside, where all my real smiles are).

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
roxymissrose
Jun. 12th, 2016 11:50 pm (UTC)
I'm mostly hoping that this next move will take. She was happy in her Newark apartment (Northern NJ) but hated the job. Now, she's working with me at Red Bulls-eye Satan ( :D :D :D ) but doing well. I'm trying to tell her that if you work the game it can work for you--you just have to be willing.

It has been a shocking, horrifying day. *showers you with hugs and fuzzy snuggles*
tabaqui
Jun. 12th, 2016 04:48 pm (UTC)
Ah, bb.
*hugs you hard*

It's a very, very, very hard thing to know your child has problems, and to *not* do whatever you can for them. At some point, they *do* need to step up as the adult they are and take care of them on their own. You are 100 percent right.

Even though I know the hurt and the anxiety that causes.
(And i'm not where you are, yet, but I will be - I have to be - at some point.)

Shutting out the world sounds like a lovely idea. I wish I could. Except for all of you all, here online, I just...don't want the world much anymore. Or, rather - I don't want the people.
*Hugs you more*

You'll be okay, bb, and so will she.
*love and blessings*
roxymissrose
Jun. 12th, 2016 11:52 pm (UTC)
*HUGS*

Thank you, love--I'm going to hang on to that. :)

tabaqui
Jun. 13th, 2016 12:02 am (UTC)
I'm always here for you, bb.
*smooch*
fufaraw
Jun. 12th, 2016 05:03 pm (UTC)
It's teetering between I want to make it better for my child, and parenting fatigue. Sometimes it's just better to not engage, for her and for you.

I hope it goes as smoothly as possible and she lands somewhere she can be comfortable and stay. Phobias are so exhausting to live with, poor lamb.

And poor mama, as well.

Early retirement can be great, as long as you have stuff lined up to keep you busy and engaged, once you get past the "Wheeee!" stage. And the money, yes.
roxymissrose
Jun. 12th, 2016 11:56 pm (UTC)
I feel so sorry for her, but there's nothing I can do unless she helps herself. You're right, though--sometimes you have to step back--waaaaaay back.

Retirement--I'm telling myself that I'll get back into art and making things. Like, "Keep Away" signs. ;D
luvmax1
Jun. 13th, 2016 05:29 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry your daughter is going through these issues. I think you have the right attitude, for what it's worth.

As for early retirement- my dad did, and he loved it so much that he uses his retirement date as his pin number!
roxymissrose
Jun. 14th, 2016 04:21 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry that she has to go through these things--if any kid deserves to have it a little easier, it's her.

Well, your dad's an inspiration! :D I'm all, "Girls just wanna have fun!" in my mind whenever I think of early retirement, even if I'm way past my dancin' days. ;D
luvmax1
Jun. 14th, 2016 04:23 am (UTC)
If you can afford to retire, do it. Why be miserable if you don't have to?
roxymissrose
Jun. 14th, 2016 05:17 am (UTC)
You, my friend, are a very wise woman. I might not be able to dine out on my retirement - or pay any real bills for that matter - but I'm so tempted! I'm going to look into retiring at 62. It's right around the corner and would make a lovely birthday gift to myself!
(Anonymous)
Jun. 14th, 2016 05:34 am (UTC)
My dad was 62 when he retired! It must be the magic age! A renaissance, if you will.
( 15 comments — Leave a comment )

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